I’ve Decided To Be An Influencer.
I’ve decided to become an influencer. After all, it’s the profession of the century. I’ll get paid to do what any teenager does and I won’t even have to leave my house. My bumpy nose and acne can only get me so far. So here I am, on my hands and knees, asking for you to listen to what I have to say. I’m a seventeen year old high school student with impulses I can only wish to control. I don’t have my GED, but it’s not like I’ll be needing it anyways. As long as I have twitter to tell me the latest political ambitions of our presidents, and tiktok to keep me on the latest of trends. What else could a girl ever need?
As I was saying, I’m built like a model. Minus of course the hair and body type, height, and facial features. It’s not as if that will matter anyways because it’s all based on algorithms. It’s scientifically proven to be an equal playing field; it’s all fair. I just need to gain a few followers to get noticed. Besides the algorithm that I may have to master, there’s photoshop. I can fix all my imperfections and show the younger generation what beauty truly means. This will be an easy feat because after all the younger generation is so oblivious to the internet. As they should, they’ll see me as a role model. A gorgeous, independent, and financially stable role model.
The first step is always the hardest however. In order for the algorithm to work, I need to be noticed. Therefore I need to gain just a few followers. Now I could just buy my way into a follower here and there but I want it to be a natural growth. After all, my presence on social media should be raw material. People want to see me for me, just with a few minor tweaks here and there. As I was saying, the options to gain followers in the beginning are endless; I could have a friend record me making a scene in public, or I could include a puppy in a video, or even commit treason just to make an apology video afterwards! You know what? I could even fall in love with a minor just for the publicity. It’s not rocket science or even calculus. Every controversial post I make, the more attention I get, the more I’m talked about, which ultimately means the more money I make.
Eventually I’ll get lucky enough to be sent gifts and even given a chance to promote some items. That sounds extremely exciting, and the best part is that I don’t even have to say the truth; as long as my audience believes me. Oh I can’t wait for my gifts to come rolling in for the simple price of promoting the products. Maybe a company will even sponsor me! Then I’ll be paid on top of all the products, clothes, shoes, and accessories I’ll be sent. I’m sure I’ll be enjoying the fame in no time.
